DIY Self Care Toolkit to Relieve Stress and Anxiety

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Self care is preventative care for your mental health. You go to the doctor for an annual check-up, you work out to keep your heart healthy, and similarly, a self care toolkit can keep your mind healthy. An apple a day keeps the doctor away; and self care each day keeps burnout at bay!

Why do we need self care?

Sometimes we’re so busy we don’t take time to stop and check-in with ourselves. If you’re anything like me, you are happy, productive and in control for several days and them seemingly out of nowhere, you break down. All of a sudden, you’re a puddle of emotion — anxious, frustrated, and just burnt out. If you’re going at full speed, you won’t see burnout coming up in the rear-view mirror. You need to slow down, check your mirrors, and be aware of your surroundings in order to manage your energy or fuel.

My Daily Self Care Toolkit

My daily self care toolkit involves three key steps.

1. Check in with yourself
2. Feel the feels
3. Apply self-care

To be clear, this isn’t about avoiding our emotions, but learning to work through them in a healthy way. Feeling is part of the human experience, and pretending that everything is “fine” won’t make it true. Let’s dig into each step a little further.

Step 1: How YOU doin’?

It’s important to check in with yourself daily to identify how you’re feeling and what you need. I know you’re a busy boss babe, crushing your goals, managing all the things at home and a full-time job. But with so much on your plate, you may not recognize the signs of burnout. I recommend setting an alarm every day to ask yourself “Hey girl, how YOU doin?” like Joey Tribbiani from Friends.

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Are you happy, calm, or just okay? Or maybe you’re feeling annoyed, anxious or depressed. The feelings wheel is a great place to start to learn to better express your emotions.

I also love the Youper app for these daily check-ins. In the app, you can set a reminder at the same time each day. A virtual assistant will ask you to check in and gives you a list of emotions to choose from. I set my reminder for 5 PM as a signal that it’s time to wrap up my work day and check in, so I don’t bring any negative emotions into my personal and family time. Youper will track your mood over time and the app’s “pocket therapist” can even provide some guidance to make you feel better.

Step 2: Feel the feels

Allow yourself to feel whatever you’re feeling. If you are experiencing a negative emotion, you don’t need to immediately try to push it away. If you’re feeling anxious, telling yourself you’re being irrational will not make it go away. So just take a moment and validate that however you are feeling is okay.

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Step 3: You Time

After acknowledging your emotions, ask yourself “What do I need right now?” Self care is more than just face masks and pedicures. While a bit of pampering may be helpful in certain cases, there may be other times when a workout or calling a friend may be more effective.

Oftentimes we need the opposite of what our feelings are telling us. If you feel depressed you may want to lay down and wallow in self-pity, but you may be better off listening to music that makes you happy or taking a walk outside.

I like to divide self care activities into 6 categories based on emotional needs – comfort, connection, restoration, distraction, motivation and release. In my self-care toolkit, I’ve outlined activities that help satisfy each of these needs for me. While this is a great place to start, what works for me may not work the same for you. Download my self care toolkit to get a free printable of this three step process + my six types of self care and a blank toolkit for you to personalize!

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What’s in your toolkit? Comment below! Share your personal self-care toolkit on Instagram and tag me @strongcalmkelsey!

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