Why I’m Feeling Like a Grinch This Year

I’m feeling a bit “Grinchy” this Christmas season.

More than ever, I’m feeling very irritated by all of the hustle and bustle of the holiday season.

I’ve always been partial to Thanksgiving. You have all the great food and the gathering of family — but without all of the fuss. No one stresses about Thanksgiving. Cook. Eat. Watch football. Sleep. Eat. Sleep — It’s simple.

At Christmastime, the mall is so crowded I can’t stand to go in even for one quick item. Stores are opening even earlier and taking away our stress-free Thanksgiving!

But what bugs me most, is the gift giving. It’s an unspoken rule that you must get a gift (or two or three!) for everyone — your family, your friends, your coworkers, your hairdresser, the mailman — the list grows every year. And somehow you still always end up receiving a gift from someone you didn’t think of, leaving you feeling like a big jerk.

And as I get older, it is more difficult for people to buy for me, so they ask for suggestions. While I appreciate receiving gifts that I actually want/need/can use, I feel like asking for specific items defeats the whole purpose. If it’s the thought that counts, choosing a gift from a list the recipient created doesn’t count at all.

In my Dad’s family, we started doing a secret santa a few years ago. The gift limit is $50, and we draw names to see who buys for who. Around Thanksgiving, all the wives/moms of the family start frantically calling each other asking for “ideas.” My Aunt calls my Mom and asks for gift ideas for me, Chris and my Dad. In return, my Mom asks for suggestions for my Uncle and Cousin. This process drives me nuts. For one, there’s nothing “secret” about these Santa’s — and second I feel like we could just avoid all of the hassle and each buy ourselves a 50 dollar present. What’s the point of spending $50 on something I picked out, while I spend $50 on you too? Why don’t we all just buy our own gifts, wrap them and act surprised?

This is the first year that Chris and I have a joint checking account, so it makes gift giving a bit different for us. I basically told him, if our gifts weren’t surprises we might as well not bother. If I give him a list and he buys the items with our joint account, I could have just bought them myself. What Christmas and gift giving is about, in my opinion, is showing the people in your life that you care. You buy a gift because you saw it and you thought of them.

Last year, for example, Chris took note when I mentioned I needed more sweaters for work. He snuck into my closet to get my sizes, went to my favorite store and picked them out on his own. I didn’t send him a hyperlink to a specific item, nor did I even realize that I had made a gift suggestion to him. He recognized a need and was thoughtful enough to pick something out on his own.

Every year I stress over my growing list of people to buy for. I wish there was a polite way to tell everyone “let’s not do gifts this year” so that we could get back to the true meaning of Christmas.

What if Christmas was all about giving back instead of giving to each other? How much of an impact could I make if I asked everyone to take the money they intended to spend on a gift for me and donate it to a cause I care about? Imagine if we weren’t all running around checking off our lists, what Christmas could be. If we took all of the time and money we budgeted for presents and donated it to charity — we could get back to the true meaning of Christmas – giving to others without expecting anything in return.