A Letter To My 16-Year-Old Self

• Save

Looking back on my high school and college years there are a lot of things I wish I had known. I wouldn’t say I have any regrets from my past, because I believe mistakes make you stronger and you grow the most out of negative experiences. However, I think there are things I would do differently if I could go back. So, here is some advice I’d give my younger self — or maybe someday to my own children.

Take Chances

I played it fairly safe in high school, partially due to an innate fear of failure. I shied away from anything that seemed uncomfortable and only put myself out there when I knew I could succeed. In college, I let fear hold me back from some of the experiences that make college, well… college. Despite a love of the Spanish language and a strong interest in traveling, I decided not to study abroad. This is one of my only regrets because I know it fear that made this decision for me. It was easier not to try than to try and fail.

Life is fragile

At 17, I lost one of my oldest friends, Alison Dalto. I never thought something like this would happen to me or anyone I knew. It seemed like something that happened to “other people.” But it wasn’t. One wrong turn of the steering wheel and she was gone. You could never prepare for a tragedy like this, and you can’t live your life in fear of the worst. But what you can do is appreciate the people around you and the life you were given, each and every day.

Anxiety isn’t a personality flaw

I spent so much time as a teenager worrying myself literally sick. I worried about my grades, about getting in trouble or not doing the right thing. Only as I got older did I realize that not everyone thought this way. I suffered from anxiety as a kid, but it wasn’t until my twenties that I sought help for it and started learning how to deal with it. 

Eventually what people think won’t matter to you anymore

At least that’s what I’m told. I’m still working on this one, but what I’m starting to realize is that the only opinion that matters is your own. It’s REALLY hard not to worry (again with the worrying!) about what people think of you, but I can tell you those people in high school won’t matter in 5 years. I promise.

Your College years are some of the best of your life

Everyone will tell you this — believe them! You have four years to find yourself, get a degree and have a lot of fun in the meantime. Not only is college some of the best years of your life, it’s also a chance for a fresh start. No one cares (or knows!) who you were in high school, so you have a chance to be whoever you want to be. Enjoy every minute, because after graduation, shit gets REAL.

Your friends now may not be your friends in 5 years

And that’s okay! It may seem tragic right now to lose touch with your BFF, but as you grow, so will your friends and you may just grow in different directions. You may slowly fall apart, or you might have a huge falling out. Regardless, understand that this is a part of life and that you will make new friends, too. But there will also be a few that you can pick up where you left off like no time or distance has passed. 

There is a huge world outside your hometown

Growing up in a small town had it’s perks, but after going to college and moving out, I realize how much it shielded me from the rest of the world. Get out and explore, travel, see the world — it’s a big one!

You will never be more free than you are right now

As you get older your responsibilities grow and your free time diminishes. Enjoy this time while it lasts.

Everything happens for a reason.

When bad things happen it’s easy to wonder “Why me?!” but time and distance will show you that everything happens for a reason. And something good comes out of even the worst situations. You cannot prepare for everything life will throw at you, but you can enjoy the ride.